Day 6: (almost caught up!): The Hardest thing I’ve been through

Ironic that this was my topic for yesterday.  I would have given you an earful.  🙂

The hardest thing I’ve ever been through is this back thing.  In many ways, I’m so lucky that this is the hardest thing I’ve been through, but I have to be honest- this has really sucked.  To go from running a 5k each month to not being able to walk within a few months, and the subsequent six months of recovery has been rough, to put it mildly.  I yearn for all the things I took for granted- walks in the mall, a trip to an amusement park, sightseeing, working out.  All of those are either out of the running or really hard to accomplish.  Instead, my life is filled with therapy appointments and planning my life around my temperamental back.  Not to mention, this back stuff puts a huge cramp into my newlywed status. 😉 

Yes, there are definitely some blessings that have come out of this: Bear and I are so much closer than we were before because of how much we’ve been through, we’ve seen prayer work in powerful ways, and I’ve gotten closer to a few people because of it.  So, it’s not been all gloom and doom.

But, I miss the carefree days before my back dictated my life.  I hate that Bear’s almost known me just as long injured as he has healthy.  I hate that I’m scared to plan ahead or commit to anything because I don’t know how my back will feel.  I hate that people have to cater to me and treat me like I’m 80.  It’s just hard to feel so young on the inside, but have a body that acts so dang old.

Hopefully, a few years from now, this will all be a distant memory.  2012 will just be the hardest year of my life that also had the best day of my life in the dead center. 🙂


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